Concetta Antonelli | Hearts Rise Up https://heartsriseup.com Elevate Yourself to a Higher Level Fri, 30 Aug 2024 17:40:47 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.2 https://heartsriseup.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/hru-favicon-trans-100x100.png Concetta Antonelli | Hearts Rise Up https://heartsriseup.com 32 32 Ep. 38 – The Benefits Of Gratitude Will Motivate You To Be Thankful Everyday https://heartsriseup.com/ep-38-the-benefits-of-gratitude-will-motivate-you-to-be-thankful-everyday/ Mon, 18 Jan 2021 12:15:10 +0000 https://heartsriseup.com/?p=25363
A conversation about the power of Gratitude to improve your life so that you rise up to your best self every day.

Join us in this episode of the Hearts Rise Up podcast with founders Carol Chapman, Concetta Antonelli, and Ann Serrie as we explore how a Gratitude Practice can be a motivator when you consider that the secret to having it all is knowing you already do. They talk about the benefits of gratitude in their lives, share the scientific research that shows how gratitude improves all areas of our lives and offer some simple ways to create your own practice.

Show Notes:

  1. Count your blessings all the time.
  2. Gratitude morning & evening practice.
  3. Research shows Gratitude improves physical, mental and emotional health.
  4. Raise your vibration with a Gratitude Practice.
  5. Appreciative Inquiry.
  6. The magic of a smile.
  7. Gratitude in action.
  8. Heart Resonance Primer and Hearts Rise Up on Mighty Networks

Website/Social Media:

http://heartsriseup.com

Facebook

Instagram

Additional Resources:

From Positive Psychology.com : What is Gratitude and Why Is It So Important by Courtney Ackerman

What Oprah Knows for Sure About Gratitude by Oprah Winfrey

From Journal of Applied Sports Psychology : Gratitude Enhances Athletes’ Self Esteem: The Moderating Role of Trust in Coach

The Book of Delights by Ross Gay

Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach

Quotes Referenced:

Oprah Winfrey – “I practiced being grateful. You then radiate and generate more goodness for yourself and it changes your personal vibration.”

Sansone & Sansone, 2010 – Definition of gratitude: “The appreciation of what is valuable and meaningful to oneself and represents a general state of thankfulness and/or appreciation.”

 

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Use Laughter To Quickly Optimize Your Health And Instantly “Lighten Up” https://heartsriseup.com/use-laughter-to-quickly-optimize-your-health-and-instantly-lighten-up/ Sun, 27 Dec 2020 18:56:23 +0000 https://heartsriseup.com/?p=25265

“I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable even hopeful.” – Bob Hope

Occupy Sanity Tool (OST): Laughter

In a year, seemingly filled with many reasons to cry, I have been using the OST: Laughter daily. It might seem crass or cruel to even think of laughing with all the shock, pain, trauma, suffering, angst, and grief, to name a few feelings we’ve experienced. Yet, I learned in my 20s that I needed something to counterbalance my seriousness and my growing tendency to be depressed.

While there were some “good reasons” for my going to the depths of despair, I knew that my health depended on me finding a way to lighten up or at least not stay at one end of the continuum for too long. I developed a Laughter Practice (without even knowing it) by regularly finding ways to lighten up and even LOL.

Benefits of a Laughter Practice

To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain and play with it.” – Charlie Chaplin

What makes each of us laugh is subjective. One thing is evident, though, the same biological benefits apply to everyone. When I began creating my Laughter Practice, there wasn’t as much research on the health benefits. I had, however, an innate understanding that I felt better during and after laughing.

Take a moment to remember the last time you had a good belly laugh—the kind when your sides ached, and you had tears in your eyes.

In a short instant, you were able to experience many health benefits without much effort. According to the HelpGuide article “Laughter is the Best Medicine,” you boosted your immune system and released the feel-good hormones known as endorphins, which “… promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.” You probably relaxed your whole body as research has shown: “A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.”

There is also the added benefit of enhancing relationships when we laugh together, which supports “…physical and emotional health.”

The authors go on to say that:

“There’s a good reason why TV sitcoms use laugh tracks: laughter is contagious. You’re many times more likely to laugh around other people than when you’re alone. And the more laughter you bring into your own life, the happier you and those around you will feel.”

Finding Your Funny Bone

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.” – Charles Dickens

One of the best ways to create a habit is through repetition. You can begin to develop your Laughter Practice by using a few of the other OSTs in your Toolbox. Start by choosing one of the OSTs: MindfulnessSTOP or Pause to center and ground. From there, pull out the OST: Surrender because for the OST: Laughter, you might need to give up some control!

1. Smile. Science tells us that smiling and frowning takes nearly the same amount of muscles to produce; however, frowning appears to be harder to do. So try doing what’s easiest, and as Nat King Cole wrote in the song “Smile,” “Light up your face with gladness.” Besides, a smile is contagious. As Ann Serrie writes in her article The Power Behind Your Smile :

What matters to me is that the act of a genuine smile releases endorphins, making us feel better. So even if your mask covers your smile, the smile is still doing its magic and making you feel better. Your light will shine brighter through your eyes and energy field.

2. Be around people who are fun and playful. One way I do this is to be with others who might have a quirky sense of humor or find ways to see life from a light-hearted or humorous perspective. For example, this year, a friend and I had weekly video chats. We discussed the impact of world events and found ourselves starting to feel our angst increase. While we weren’t discounting anyone’s pain & suffering, we felt the need to end on a more upbeat note.

One day she suggested a song from the 1969 TV show Hee Haw which we both remembered made us laugh.  Since then, we sing “Gloom, Despair, and Agony On Me” to remind us that there is another perspective and not to take ourselves so seriously…ALL the time. No matter what comes next in our day, we leave the conversation lighter. Now it’s your turn to find what makes you LOL.

3. Appreciate who you are, what you have and do. Here’s where you use the OST: Gratitude 2.0. If you haven’t done so already, it’s time to create your daily Gratitude Practice. Write notes and post them on your mirror, write in a journal or notebook, or choose a Gratitude Accountability partner to contact regularly. Focusing on your life’s delights and blessings generate more positive feelings, bringing you closer to humor & laughter.

4. Move toward laughter and humor. Here you can use the OST: Imagine to return to your innate childlike innocence and imagine ways to increase your humor/laughter quotient. As HelpGuide suggests:

“More often, people are very happy to share something funny because it gives them an opportunity to laugh again and feed off the humor you find in it. When you hear laughter, seek it out and ask, “What’s funny?”

5. Pretend. If you’re still having trouble finding something that tickles your funny bone, science and experience show us that simulated laughter can achieve the same results. There are several options like Laughter Yoga and Meditation, and even Laugh Therapy. Here are some links to videos that will get you laughing and shifting into a higher vibration. I challenge you to NOT laugh after watching them!

Liberating Your Laughter  by Celeste Greene of Laughter Yoga Atlanta at TEDxCPW

Phillip & Holly Try Out Laughter Yoga This Morning

TEDMED Live Talk by Dr. Madan Kataria

I encourage you to use this OST right away. Go ahead. LOL! Let yourself feel lighter.

If you’re still unsure here is some additional information about the many benefits of laughter.

Stress relief from laughter? It’s no joke by the Mayo Clinic Staff

7 HEALTH BENEFITS OF LAUGHTER by E.C. LaMeaux

Photo by Mark Daynes on Unsplash

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Gratitude 2.0: A Habit To Turbo-Charge Your Happiness https://heartsriseup.com/gratitude-2-0-a-habit-to-turbo-charge-your-happiness/ Sun, 22 Nov 2020 17:54:00 +0000 https://heartsriseup.com/?p=24810

“The heart that gives thanks is a happy one, for we cannot feel thankful and unhappy at the same time.” ~ Douglas Wood

Occupy Sanity Tool (OST): Gratitude 2.0

I first introduced the OST: Gratitude with a 3 step exercise in my blog post “5 Minutes of Gratitude Attitude Raises Your Vibration .” As I mentioned in that article, I continue to find: “…that a daily Gratitude Practice has improved my ability to move from a negative state into a positive one quickly.” In 2020, there have been times when I needed to “turbo-charge” my practice; thus I’ve created the OST: Gratitude 2.0.

Miracle Cure?

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. ~ Melody Beattie

Beattie’s premise seems to indicate that applying gratitude is a miracle cure for whatever ails us. As I begin to reflect on this year, I see how this has been true for me. I feel happier just reading her quote, which seems to be one of the results of practicing gratitude. A quick search reveals a large body of scientific research to support the positive effect a Gratitude Practice has on our well being.

“It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.” ~ Germany Kent

Counting our blessings and feeling grateful is more comfortable when everything is going our way. Think of a time when you felt loved, accomplished, healthy, happy, etc. Fill in the blank with your own words. I imagine somewhere in that memory is a moment when you were feeling grateful. Or perhaps you avoided a dangerous situation, like when you swerved to miss another motorist coming into your lane. After a few expletives, I suspect you were saying “Whew! That was a close one.” and “Thank you ” to yourself and the Divine.

Creating Hope In Difficult Times

Being grateful or thankful in difficult times does not come as easy. With feelings of loss, shock, and despair that come with life events, many of which we’re experiencing this year, it’s hard to find gratitude. Yet research shows that by choosing to find just one positive aspect in your life, “…you can find hope amidst despair.”

A 2003 study conducted to evaluate emotions after 9/11 revealed that people filled with feelings like gratitude and love had a higher level of resiliency. As Z. Colette Edwards, MD summarizes in her article “20 Ways To Be Grateful And Kind During Difficult Times“:

“They were also more likely to experience self-growth and less likely to suffer from depression. This happens because gratitude blocks, or at least balances out, negative emotions like anger, resentment, depression, disappointment, and regret.”

Considered one of the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude, Robert A. Emmons has found that practicing gratitude brings your focus back to the present moment where you can celebrate who you are and what you have. The invitation is to be with how life is instead of what you want it to be.

He discovered there is a difference “…between feeling grateful and being grateful.” As he writes in his essay “How Gratitude Can Help You In Hard Times“:

“We cannot easily will ourselves to feel grateful, less depressed, or happy. But being grateful is a choice, a prevailing attitude that endures and is relatively immune to the gains and losses that flow in and out of our lives. When disaster strikes, gratitude provides a perspective from which we can view life in its entirety and not be overwhelmed by temporary circumstances.”

Gratitude Changes Brain Chemistry

According to several studies, regularly practicing gratitude changes brain chemistry. In their article “How Gratitude Changes You And Your Brain,” Joshua Brown Ph.D., and Joel Wong Ph.D. say that: 

  1. Gratitude unshackles us from toxic emotions.
  2. Gratitude helps even if you don’t share it.
  3. Gratitude’s benefits take time.
  4. Gratitude has lasting effects on the brain.

 In her article “The Neuroscience of Gratitude and How it Affects Anxiety & Grief,” Madhuleena Roy Chowdhury, BA, cites several research studies that confirm the neurochemical changes in the brain as a result of creating a gratitude attitude. One study 

“… revealed that the reason why some of us are naturally more grateful than others, is the neurochemical differences at the Central Nervous System. People who express and feel gratitude have a higher volume of grey matter in the right inferior temporal gyrus (Zahn et al, 2014).”

It seems that the feel-good neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin are released when we practice gratitude daily. When we feel happier, we are more likely to engage in physical activity, which releases more endorphins. Studies also reveal that with more physical activity, we sleep better. When we feel better physically, our self-esteem improves, which can enhance our professional and personal relationships. As Chowdhury says:

“By consciously practicing gratitude every day, we can help these neural pathways to strengthen themselves and ultimately create a permanent grateful and positive nature within ourselves.”

Turbo-Charged Gratitude

Even without all the science to back me up, I continue to stand by my own experience that my gratitude practice has changed my brain chemistry. How do I know this? I FEEL better. I can sense the shift when I allow my emotions to be part of my experience instead of pushing them aside. Then I check in with my Gratitude Attitude and see what else is available.

My turbo-charge for the OST: Gratitude 2.0 includes:

Waking up every day and pumping up my Gratitude Attitude first thing by saying or writing, “I am happy and grateful for ____________.

Reducing the amount of time I spend in negativity. Some days I set a timer for 5 minutes and allow myself time to be negative. Then I follow up with the statement, “Despite all that, here are some positive aspects I’m experiencing.”

Listening to Gratitude Meditations.

Thanking at least one person every day for something. It doesn’t have to be someone I know. It’s a great exercise to train yourself to look for the best in people.

Now it’s your turn. Try Gratitude 2.0 and let us know what happens for you.

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

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Ep. 36 – Break-Up With Social Media To Become A Better Version Of Yourself https://heartsriseup.com/ep-36-break-up-with-social-media-to-become-a-better-version-of-yourself/ Mon, 16 Nov 2020 17:25:34 +0000 https://heartsriseup.com/?p=24779

An Interview with Johan Versteegh – Life and Digital Wellness Coach and the cofounder of Social Media Breakup, who knows firsthand about the downsides of screen addiction and how to recover using his “6 Step Formula Series.”

A few years ago, Johan Versteegh suffered from cell phone and social media addiction. When he realized and accepted the adverse effects on his life, he knew he had to find a way to unhook himself from screens. He knew that he couldn’t totally abstain from technology; after all, he worked in the IT industry! Accepting that there was a way to take charge of his screen time rather than feel driven by it, he began to explore ways to first disengage from mindless interaction with his devices and then reengage with them mindfully.

As Johan began to heal himself, he realized others were struggling with the same addiction. After gaining clarity about his life purpose, he became a Life and Digital Wellness Coach and eventually created Social Media Breakup. His mission is helping individuals and families recover from phone and social media addiction enabling them to become better versions of themselves.

Show Notes:

Social Media Breakup

The Uncomfortable Zone

Screen addiction

Digital Wellness

“I don’t want to die stupid.”

“Disconnect so you can reconnect.”

Google Dementia

Digital Citizenship – online etiquette

Digital Detox

“Outsourcing your happiness.”

“Improve the story you tell yourself about yourself.”

“Transform your device into an ally instead of an enemy.”

Social Media:

Website: https://www.socialmediabreakup.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/phonebreakup
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/techbreakup/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTmNvzsYPKkSegM8C-cVy4w/videos
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/socialmediabreakup

Books and Movie:

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Joe Dispenza

Ready Player One – a 2018 science fiction action-adventure film directed by Steven Spielberg, from a screenplay by Zak Penn and Ernest Cline based on Cline’s novel of the same name.

Special Offer:

Access Johan’s Udemy Course “Break Free From iPhone, Screen, Social Media, Tech Addiction” for FREE by sending an email to Johan@socialmedia.com .

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Imagine The Life You Want In 3 Simple Steps https://heartsriseup.com/imagine-the-life-you-want-in-3-simple-steps/ Mon, 26 Oct 2020 14:38:44 +0000 https://heartsriseup.com/?p=24728

To bring anything into your life, imagine that it’s already there.” ― Richard Bach

Occupy Sanity Tool (OST): Imagine

As a child, I spent countless hours in my imaginary world, where everything was possible.

I suspect many of you did as well. I would imagine traveling around the world or that I was living on another planet. I would imagine places where I was a powerful magician, king, or queen and, sometimes I  became different types of birds, animals, and mythical creatures. Often I’d join my friends on countless adventures where we traveled with celebrities and musicians. One of my favorite fantasies was that I, like Samantha Stephens in the TV series “Bewitched,” had the power to change people into animals or birds, travel anywhere, and have whatever I wanted with a twitch of my nose or wave of my arms.

As I grew up, I was told to channel all that energy into more concrete activities like school work and ‘imagine’ how to make good grades, graduate, and find a job to support myself. Undeniably good advice, I believe my parents, counselors, and teachers had my best interest at heart.

Even if they were looking out for me, as Gloria Steinem suggests:

“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”

Create Prosperity With Images

“Imagination is the golden pathway to everywhere.” ― Terence McKenna

Fast forward into my twenties when I was “adulting” with a college degree, a steady job and an apartment. Looking for ways to become more successful (i.e., make more money and have more things), I began reading The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Ponder. She explains how to apply those laws to manifest anything you want, including material wealth, health, a partner, a family, and general well being. When applied with accuracy and persistence, all the laws yield beneficial results. Yet there has been one that I’ve used consistently called The Imaging Law of Prosperity.

In essence, applying this law is done by creating an image of what you would like to see, feel, do, be, have, etc. Said another way, consistently IMAGINE what/how you wish to live with as many details as possible. As Ponder explains:

“Your will may say that your dream is too big to come true; that it is impossible to fulfill. But if you just dare to continue imaging it anyway, then your imagination will go to work for you to produce the visible result you have been imaging… Whatever the mind is taught to expect, that it will build, produce, and bring forth for you.”

With this in mind, I began to re-engage with my childhood game of imagining all the possibilities. Over time I learned another essential key to ensure success: continue imagining while trusting in the power of my mind and the Divine. Sometimes I found it hard to know what I wanted, so I felt challenged when creating a mental picture. Just recently, I learned a technique that enabled me to stop overthinking and derailing the process.

Just Make It Up

In his online course, Create Your Destiny, William Whitehead offers a three-step process to develop your intuition:

1. Innocence

2. Observe the obvious.

3. Make it up – deciphering the subtle energy of your genius.

The practice involves engaging your innate childlike innocence to determine what you want (Observe the obvious) and then make up fantastic stories full of possibilities. Saying “Just make it up!” is a way to disengage the logical mind and start the process. Once the energy is flowing, you can create the next steps with ease.

The OST: Imagine can be used to discover solutions to problems, create a calmer state of mind, or manifest a dream.

Imagine: Simple 3 Step Exercise

1. Take a moment to center yourself. Meditate on your breath. Do the Box Breathing Technique for 1-5 minutes. Or do some Mindfulness Practices like The Five Senses Exercise or the OST: STOP.

2. Focus on the current situation, problem, or dream/goal. For example, I sometimes create anxiety when I am driving to an appointment by saying: “I hope there isn’t any traffic. But I bet there will be traffic or another problem. I’m sure I won’t find a parking space and the team will be out of service. I’m sure I’ll be late.” That is NOT what I want to create.

3. Determine your intended outcome and desired result. What do you want to happen? Complete this sentence: I choose the outcome to be or of________________.

In my example, I knew overall, I wanted more ease, but I needed to be more specific.

I finished the sentence several times:

  • I choose the outcome of trusting myself to handle whatever is ahead.
  • I choose the outcome of being calm no matter what traffic I face.
  • I choose the outcome of having the best parking space for myself and all concerned.
  • I choose the outcome of arriving at least 15 minutes in advance for my appointment.

All the while, I imagined this happening. And it did!

Of course, you can use the OST: Imagine to manifest your life-long dreams and goals using the same formula. Give it a try and let us know about your experience.

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Ep. 34 – Listen To Your Heart To Create Success From The Inside Out https://heartsriseup.com/ep-34-listen-to-your-heart-to-create-success-from-the-inside-out/ Sun, 11 Oct 2020 18:00:00 +0000 https://heartsriseup.com/?p=24613

An Interview With Jeanne Sharbuno – seasoned coach, team facilitator, fun ballroom dance instructor, and author of “52 Ways To Live Success…From the Inside Out: Bite-Size Coaching for Success-Minded People.”

Confident that she was making a place for herself in the corporate world, Jeanne Sharbuno faced a life-defining moment when she was laid off for the third time in four years. She vowed never to be at the mercy of another corporation for her livelihood. Thus began the journey that took her “From Corporate Misfit to Ballroom Dancing Queen.” She shares how listening to her heart, and intuition, led her to create success from the inside out.

Jeanne and Concetta explore how following our inner guidance enables us to discover what the heart wants. We learn how becoming a coach empowered Jeanne to embrace her vocation and prepared her to help others from the inside out. Once again, by listening to an internal nudge, she discovered her avocation: teaching Ballroom Dancing. As she notes, she was guided by her “inner Ginger Rogers” which led her to uncover her bliss.

She shares ways to fine-tune our inner listening skills. Learn Jeanne’s success formula as she explains the importance of having a coach in your corner.

Jeanne continues to model how listening to your heart is living from the inside out with her unique ability to connect with and inspire people at all levels. She enjoys guiding people in answering that question “What’s next?” As a train-the-coach trainer for Best Year Yet® Worldwide, she is passionate about training and mentoring new coaches to be the best possible coaches for their clients.

Show Notes:

“Success happens from the inside out”

Being a “corporate misfit.”

“Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him – then choose that way with all your heart.” – Hasidic Saying

Listening from the inside to inner nudging and intuitive knowing

Being yourself is being spiritual

Flow Activities create a state where time stands still

Body Wisdom

Answers can come in different ways

Navigating obstacles

Thinking in ways that support us rather than sabotage us

Accountability = keeping promises to yourself

Shifting limiting paradigms

Role of Dance – Joy, A Flow Activity

Website Info:

Website:  www.JeanneSharbuno.com

Special Report on the Home page: “How to Achieve More in 1 Week Than Most Do In 12.”

Blog articles on website include:

“4 Tips to Inspired, Effective Goal-Setting”

“How to Blast Out of Overwhelm So You Can Be Laser-Focused” and

Free Offers:

Free excerpt of eBook: “A Taste of 52 Ways to Live Success…from the Inside Out!”

Under the Book Tab on Jeanne’s website. Scroll down the page and find it the on left hand side.

Offer for our listeners: The First 3 people who email Jeanne at coach@jeannesharbuno.com will receive a FREE 30-minute session. 

Social Media:

Facebook:

Business Success with Ease

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Find More Power In ‘Surrender’ By Letting Go Of Control https://heartsriseup.com/find-more-power-in-surrender-by-letting-go-of-control/ Sun, 20 Sep 2020 22:21:03 +0000 https://heartsriseup.com/?p=6410

Occupy Sanity Tool (OST): Surrender

I’m sitting here writing this in pain. I’ve decided to pull out my Occupy Sanity Toolbox to find something to help, not with the physical pain, because I’ve done all I can to reduce/eliminate it. Instead, I’m looking for a tool to help me with my biggest challenge in life particularly in 2020.

I think McCall Erickson sums it up best:

Surrender: Giving up what we think should be happening for what is actually happening.”

By definition, surrender is to stop resisting to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority or give up or hand over something on demand. Synonyms include give in, give up, relinquish, and submission.

At first, I think to give in, give up and relinquish means to lose control and, as a consequence, power. And the mere thought of submission causes me to cringe. Yet, I’ve learned through experience that using the OST: Surrender gives me power.

Control: The Grand Illusion

“Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between Effort and Surrender.” – Danielle Orner

Leo Babauta writes in his article: The Ridiculously Awesome Practice of Surrendering:

“…we are always seeking control, because we don’t like uncertainty. At all.

We want to control our day, so we have routines, schedules, systems. We create systems for our work, try to get control over our health through new diets or exercise programs, try to control our relationships, our future, our finances. And there’s nothing wrong with any of this … except that it’s a bit futile to try to control the uncontrollable. It’s like trying to build a building out of water — you keep trying and keep trying, but it’s just not a solid building material.”

I continue to learn that control over EVERYTHING is an illusion. I think I create this illusion to stave off the reality that life is uncertain.

Attempting to control everything all the time creates a cycle of futility, which ultimately leads to stress which can harm our health and well-being.

Sometimes it’s not the times you decide to fight that matter. It’s the times you decide to surrender.

Cultivating Surrender

Over time I have found that surrender is a practice that enables me to feel more in CONTROL. When I relax into the way things are and reduce my efforts toward changing them, I experience the power of possibility in this present moment. Leo Babauta tells us that:

“Surrender is all of this and more. It’s openness, full presence, awareness of what’s happening, curiosity and immense appreciation. And it takes so much less energy than control.”

Freeing up energy means I can find my way into the flow of life, where the real power lies. As I open myself to the uncertainty right here in this present moment, I see the possibilities are limitless. I don’t need to dive in all at once to the void; instead, I can use some of the Occupy Sanity Tools I have in my Toolbox to help me cultivate the Power of Surrender.

5 Occupy Sanity Tools To Ease Into Surrender

1. Mindfulness. Have a look at the OSTs: Mindfulness and STOP for some steps to create more mindfulness. I’ve also found another exercise to use to surrender to what is: The Five Senses Exercise. I look for

– 5 things I can see,

– 4 things I can feel,

– 3 things I can hear,

– 2 things I can smell and

– 1 thing I can taste.

As I progressed through this exercise, I focused less on the pain. With this expanded view of the present moment, I felt grounded enough to use the next tool.

2. Fear. Often when I’m in pain, I begin to catastrophize about the future. I turn the current moment into an endless stream of what else could go wrong, imagining that I will be in pain forever, concluding with some form of agonizing death. When that happens, I know it’s time to take out the OST: Fear and ask: Who’s in the Driver’s Seat? I may have let Fear have control of the steering wheel. If I need to, I’ll do some Box Breathing to bring me back to the present moment. Once there, I can thank Fear for sharing and send her into the back seat. Now I can use the next tool.

3. Love. To use the OST: Love, I ask the question WWLD: What Would Love Do? With curiosity, I breathe into this question and wait for an answer. Do I need to lie down? Do I need a massage? Do I need to take a walk? Do I need to take a bath? Do I need to go to the doctor? Do I need to appreciate myself for even asking this question? Do I need to unplug from my screens and BE in this moment? Once I have this answer, I can take out the next tool.

4. Pause. Perhaps the OST: Pause seems like an obvious choice, but not an easy one when dealing with pain. With this OST, I practice The Sensitivity Cycle from Hakomi Therapy, which is on a continuous loop of Clarity – Effective Action – Satisfaction – Relaxation.  As the ‘Relaxation’ phase comes before the ‘Clarity’ phase, I pause to notice that there are parts of me NOT in pain. I can surrender into what is: not all of me is in pain. As I relax here for a moment I move on to the next tool.

5. Gratitude. Now I cultivate more surrender by completing  a Gratitude attitude exercise.

Step 1: I set a timer for 5 minutes.

Step 2: I finish this sentence ‘I am happy and grateful for…’ the fact that only part of me is in pain, the sun is shining in the window, I have a comfy bed & pillows, and I have Arnica cream & an ice pack at hand. Etc…

Step 3: At the end of the 5 minutes I stop to check in with myself. I felt relaxed, more expansive and at ease. I repeated this exercise many times and observed that I could be with the pain easier when I surrendered.

I would love to hear more about how the OST: Surrender enables you to let go of control and find more power.

“When the going gets tough, the tough simply surrender” ― Davidson Samuel

Photo by Rio Hodges on Unsplash

 

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How Making Friends With Your Impatience Increases Your Patience https://heartsriseup.com/how-making-friends-with-your-impatience-increases-your-patience/ Sun, 16 Aug 2020 16:00:43 +0000 https://heartsriseup.com/?p=6281

Occupy Sanity Tool (OST): Patience

“Impatience can teach us the lessons of patience better.” ― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

I was told from an early age to:

Have patience.

Be patient.

All good things come to those who wait.

And

Patience is a virtue.

I found this to be a great challenge considering that I felt more and more impatient with my lack of patience!

Perhaps part of the dilemma is that we’ve created a world of instant gratification. We have instant access to news, entertainment, and people. Whether at a drive-through restaurant or in a microwave, we can have food in an instant. We can have pain relief in a flash, thanks to a myriad of medications. While this brings us satisfaction and comfort, this way of living can increase our impatience rather than patience. The good news is that focusing on the impatience may hold the clues we need to effectively use the OST: Patience.

“When it comes to patience, we don’t have to change old habits; we can build better ones.” – Sue Bender

Roots of Impatience

The Mind Tools Content Team tells us in the article “Patience. Don’t Let Frustration Get The Better Of You“:

“Impatience has its roots in frustration. It’s a feeling of rising stress that starts when you feel that your needs and wishes are being ignored.”

As we know frustration and stress are uncomfortable. As Jennifer (founder of Contentment Questing) suggests in her article How To Master Patience – 20 Powerful Tipsthat’s the feeling we need to experience in order to create more patience.

“We are very used to being comfortable. Often our brains become so used to being comfortable, we think that it’s the only state that we can endure.  You actually can make it if you are a little bit uncomfortable.  Often learning how to master patience involves learning how to endure some short term discomfort for long term gain.”

Making Friends With My Impatience

 “The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” – Arnold H. Glasow

One way to make friends with your impatience is to increase your awareness and understanding of it by practicing mindfulness with, for example, the OSTs: STOP or Mindfulness and then asking a few questions.

To illustrate this process, I’ll share an experience I had last week.

One of the times I am most impatient is sitting in traffic. While I aim to have stress less and trouble-free drive, even with the best intentions and choices, there can be unexpected delays. On this day I decided to run errands early to avoid the heat and, as usual, the traffic. With a carefully planned itinerary, I was right on schedule when I turned a corner to come upon a line of 20 stopped cars. I  joined the other drivers in watching the traffic signal tick off the seconds until it was our turn to go around the roadwork.

I felt my irritation rise as I huffed and puffed my dissatisfaction with the usual litany of  ‘Great. Now I’ll never get there. I’ll be off schedule for sure. It will be so crowded, and I’ll have to wait in line, and I hate waiting in line. Ugh. Why does this always happen to me?

 Time to Ask 5 Questions

1. How am I breathing? Already my reaction has given me the answer. I was ‘huffing and puffing’ so I needed to regulate my breathing. I pulled out the OST: STOP  (Stop, Take a Breath. Observe. Proceed.) and took three deep breaths (3 counts in 6 counts out), which began to engage my parasympathetic nervous system. Then I could ask myself:

2. Is it true that you will ‘… never get there.’ or ‘…does this always happen to…’ you? The answer was, of course, no. Then  I went deeper to ask:

3. What is causing me to be impatient? I wanted to stay on schedule. I had several errands to complete and, I was afraid I wouldn’t get them done. Plus, if I didn’t get to the store before a specific time, there would be more people there. I feel aggravated that I would have to be close to more people, many of them not observing the physical distancing rules. In essence, I’m feeling uncomfortable, and in the past, I dealt with that by getting irritated, which made me impatient, which made me more uncomfortable. A vicious cycle.

Once I had identified the cause and felt it, my irritation subsided, and I could summon up the OST: Gratitude and be grateful for the fact that I was in an air-conditioned car and that I could see the front of this line. Feeling a bit less frustrated,  I could ask:

4. What other options do I have?  I could wait. I could shop faster. I could scream and shout.  I could make a U-turn and go home, then go shopping tomorrow. With that response, I could ask myself the final question:

5. Is my objective still relevant? The answer was yes, so I began to wonder how I could make myself more ‘comfortable’ with my ‘uncomfortableness’.  I remembered another OST: Perspective and decided to ‘Flip it’ and say I loved waiting in traffic because it gave me time to listen to my audiobook, which I did.

No Time For That?

“I should learn patience, it’s a shame there’s no time for that.”
― Maija Haavisto

To my delight and relief, becoming better friends with my impatience did increase my patience. Consequently, I was able to wait for my turn to go around the roadwork and navigate the grocery store with significantly less frustration.

The truth is there is time to practice the OST: Patience. I hope you’ll give this tool a try and let me know how you grow more patient.

As Ron Brackin notes:

Patience is a decision: to sit back rather than lean forward, to shift your weight from the balls of your feet to your heels. To settle your thoughts on now, to enjoy the journey, to give something or someone time to grow.”

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

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5 Ways To Cultivate Mindemptiness And Master The Monkey Mind https://heartsriseup.com/5-ways-to-cultivate-mindemptiness-and-master-the-monkey-mind/ Sun, 19 Jul 2020 16:00:00 +0000 https://heartsriseup.com/?p=6187

Occupy Sanity Tool (OST): Mindemptiness

“The usefulness of a cup is in its emptiness.” – Old Chinese Proverb

I was talking to a friend the other day about practicing mindfulness during chaotic times. I told her I felt on information overload and found that limiting the amount of time I spent engaging with a screen each day helped me feel more grounded and less stressed. She said, it sounds like we all could use more mind-empty-ness these days to counter our mind-full-ness. In an instant, I created this month’s OST: Mindemptiness.

“The miracles of technology cause us to live in a hectic, clockwork world that does violence to human biology, enabling us to do nothing but pursue the future faster and faster.’ – Alan Watts

I have spent most of my life practicing meditation and mindfulness. My practice officially began in my late teens when I read The Wisdom Insecurity by Alan Watts. His premise to be present with whatever arises and a Hatha yoga practice gave me a framework to learn how balance inside myself could help me create it in my outer life.

Personal growth is a lifelong journey that includes ups, downs, twists, and turns, where the only certainty is uncertainty. The paradox is that it’s in uncertain times when life can seem at its emptiest, there can be the most possibilities and opportunities for revelations and growth.

But What About The Monkey?

“The mind can be like a crazy monkey that is always dying to escape from the present moment.” – Rolf Potts

On my quest to practice more mindemptiness, I encountered the Monkey…in my mind! I suspect many of you have one too. Such a cunning creature jumping from one thought to the next, obsessively searching for solutions and making lists, which is a practical use of the mind, except at 3 am. She’s there to keep me safe from the anxiety of living with the reality of uncertainty, believing that if I stay in my head, I won’t have to feel intense emotions or emptiness.

Here’s where it gets even more interesting because the thing that helps me be less anxious is to practice meditation and mindfulness as a means of getting to mindemptyness (i.e., the Monkey Mind is calmed). As Carol Chapman notes in her blog post Meditation and Mindfulness – Is There A Difference? :

“I’ve used meditation to keep my mind in check. To 1) reduce the effects of the “monkey mind” that can often take hold and sometimes create a lot of anxiety for me and 2) to achieve a heightened state of consciousness.”

 Benefits of Emptying The Mind

“Form is emptiness, emptiness is form” states the Heart Sutra, one of the best known ancient Buddhist texts. The essence of all things is emptiness.” ― Eckhart Tolle

The “…heightened state of consciousness.” that Carol refers to is fertile ground to experience the benefits of mindemptiness.

Here are some real life examples:

-In order to sow seeds in a field it has to be cleared, tilled and empty so that they have the optimal conditions to germinate.

-A sperm & egg need an empty space (the womb) to connect and then attach to grow a new life.

-Artists often create something on a blank (empty) canvas.

In my experience, a ‘full mind’ can create anxiety and inactivity, much like when we eat too much. It’s hard to take in more or move. The stomach needs time and energy to process. So it is with our mind.

5 Ways to Practice Mindemptiness

Here are 5 ways to cultivate mindemptiness to begin to master that “monkey mind.”

1. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is one of the ways to attain Mindemptiness. Researcher Ramesh Manocha explains that “Mindfulness may be better understood as a means to an ends rather than being an ends in itself.” In his article Meditation, mindfulness and mind-emptiness he notes that:

“The practical experience in our clinical trials bears this notion out since we found that mindfulness strategies were often useful to facilitate mind-emptiness. We propose that mindfulness was in fact developed with the intention of facilitating the experience of mental silence.”

(See my blog posts Mindfulness: Your GPS To Greater Health and You May Be Meditating Without Even Knowing It for some suggestions.)

2. Talk it out: Ask a friend, a colleague, or, if necessary, hire a coach or therapist. Sometimes it’s enough to have someone listen and reflect. Also, you could make an audio recording of your thoughts, then listen to yourself.

3. Journal it out: There are so many options for journaling. I have done both written and visual themed journals. I like to combine the two. Again, the point is to get the thoughts swirling around or perhaps being thrown about by your Monkey in your mind, out!

4. Get out in Nature. Go for a slow walk. Look, really LOOK at the trees, flowers, grass and sky. Be curious about the thoughts that arise. Imagine they are like the clouds floating and dissipating in the sky.

5. Schedule a Break from your devices. There are many benefits to taking what Dr. Mirgain calls a “…digital detox day.” As he points out in his article Taking a Technology Break Can Help Your Health  stepping away from the screens can increase productivity, focus, self-worth, physical health, mindfulness and even lead to closer relationships.

I suspect you can add to this list. Let us know your experience with this OST.

Photo by Syed Hussaini on Unsplash

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Ep. 28 – Find The Fun So Life Becomes A Game You Want to Play Again https://heartsriseup.com/ep-28-find-the-fun-so-life-becomes-a-game-you-want-to-play-again/ Mon, 29 Jun 2020 19:09:58 +0000 https://heartsriseup.com/?p=6066

An Interview With Marisa Raymond – a wife, mom, mindfulness coach and board-certified genetic counselor and founder of Marisa Raymond Coaching

“Find the fun” is a motto that Marisa Raymond believes is necessary to live life with ease. As a successful genetic counselor, mom, coach and yoga teacher, she talks about her journey from being a serious perfectionist attempting to control life to a Fun-preneur who embodies Mary Poppins’ philosophy: “In every job that must be done there is an element of fun. You find the fun and *snap* the job’s a game.”

Marisa began her professional career as a genetic counselor in the U.S., a career she loved; however, when her husband was offered a job in France they felt they couldn’t pass up this once-in-a-lifetime chance. Marisa shares the thrills and disappointments that came with the decision to move to what she and Concetta call the ‘Ex-pat Planet’. They discuss the unique experience of living and thriving in a foreign land, which the stress of ultimately led to Marisa having serious health issues.

Listen in to see how she rose up out of that challenge by living life in the moment, discovering that when she let go of control, connecting with her children as well as her own inner child, she actually had MORE control. This led her to find a way to bring together her past work experience, her natural talents, what she loves doing and the element of FUN to create Marisa Raymond Coaching.

She and Concetta explore the notion that by tapping into our ‘inner Mary Poppins and inner child’ we can get curious about the world around us. This allows solutions, connections and possibilities we never imagined to arise naturally. Marisa is passionate about working with families to enable them to release their frustrations so they can create their own unique visions of their family and how they want to live their lives.

Show Notes

  1. Find the Fun so *SNAP* life becomes a game you want to play again
  2. Living on the Ex-Pat Planet
  3. “Explore, Dream, Discover” – Mark Twain
  4. Learning one step at a time
  5. Tap into your inner “Curious George” (i.e., inner child)
  6. Two ears, one mouth – listen more than talk
  7. “Adulting” is hard and messy
  8. The Pros and Cons of navigating a new environment and culture
  9. Magic of creating in a group
  10. Role of Yoga and Meditation
  11. The healing path of Kids Yoga
  12. Giving up control in order to find your way
  13. Getting to reinvent yourself
  14. Pandemic thoughts

Resources Mentioned

Magic Misfits Series by Neil Patrick Harris

Brené Brown

Marisa’s Website

Marisa Raymond Website

Social Media

Facebook:

Marisa Raymond Coaching

Marisa Raymond Yoga

Instagram: marisaraymond77

Special Free Offer Just For Our Listeners

Music by Jonn Serrie

Intro and Outro music composed and recorded by Jonn Serrie.

Website: http://www.thousandstar.com/

Record Labels and Links to Jonn’s Music: Valley Entertainment and New World Music

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