I’m a heart-centered, lifelong learner, reader, and promoter of books. That’s right, and I have been reading since early childhood. It was my mother’s hobby, and I picked it up from her. I could read just about anywhere – on the floor, in bed, or up a tree. My favorite authors were Nancy Drew (mystery), Jack London (adventure), Walter Farley (horses), and Johann Wyss (treehouses). 

My Time With Books As A Teen

As a teen, I spent summers in a lounge chair on my deck in the sun with a book and an ice tea (instant tea was big then, and we had a new refrigerator with an ice maker). The thicker the book, the better! I read J.R.R. Tolkein (Lord of the Rings), James Michener (archeology and history), Taylor Caldwell (because my mom did), Frank Herbert (Science Fiction), and Carlos Castaneda (my first foray into the mystical). 

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies . . . The man who never reads lives only one.” – George R.R. Martin

By this time, I was wearing glasses. I was not too fond of the look, but I loved that reading became more enjoyable. Now I was out of high school, working, and contemplating college. In the middle of the ’70s, it wasn’t hard to find interesting, mind-expanding reading material. I was reading Seth Speaks (channeling), Creative Visualization, Jonathan Livingston Seagull (introspection), A Gift from the Sea (reflecting on life), and Siddharta (self-discovery). Many of these books sustained me through some difficult times and eventually led me to learn to meditate. I started with Transcendental Meditation.  

How Books Supported Me As An Adult

When I entered the world of work, I was on my own. It was exciting to be an “adult,” but at times stressful making ends meet. Reading was my go-to for relaxation. The library was always a place to find a new adventure, a friend, or a solution to a problem.  

A few years after getting married, I started working at a bookstore – Waldenbooks! It was a great environment to go to five days a week. Not only did I expand my reading palate, but I met the most interesting people and learned what books were their touchstones. For 18 years, I was immersed in the bookstore environment and loved every minute of it.  

How Books Open Our Hearts and Minds

Reading, for me, has always represented a tool to the raw materials of knowledge. Whether the material is fiction or nonfiction, you can pick up kernels of life’s truth through a book. For instance, I recently read a fiction story that revealed something about what my mother’s life must have been like raising four children and working while my Dad traveled two weeks out of every month. It was an aha moment and gave me a different perspective on my mother’s experience. The words on the page and the stories I’ve read have brought me to tears, had me laughing out loud, and provided serious food for thought. 

Reading gives us the ability to be entertained, informed, educated, and inspired. Technology in this area has exploded over my lifetime. I’m a slow adopter, and it took me some years to embrace ebooks and reading on a device. However, my preference is still to hold a book. Along the way, I’ve learned to appreciate audiobooks, first as cassette tapes, then CD’s and now in MP3 or streaming. 

You may be wondering how do reading and books fit in with living a heart-centered life. Good question! To me, what we read as children and young adults whets our appetites for the paths we pursue. We come across books that change and open our minds. We meet people in the authors and characters that enlighten us, bring us knowledge, and make us think. 

“A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called “leaves”) imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time—proof that humans can work magic.”

—Carl Sagan

How Books Show Up At The Right Time

At Hearts Rise Up, we talk about living a good life in mind, body, and heart. Out there are a plethora of books on topics that fit into all these areas. Some examples are; books covering cooking, exercise, mindfulness, forgiveness, self-esteem, relationships, philosophy, communication, nature, and spirituality, to name just a few. In my search for higher consciousness and self-improvement, I’m often led to the right book at the right time by unseen hands. 

Here are a few examples: 

I’ve had a book in my collection for 25 years. Every time I picked it up, I didn’t resonate with it and put it down. This year, as I have struggled with some food sensitivities, my eyes were drawn to it repeatedly. Finally, I picked it up and have found that it is the perfect book for me at this time. (Donna Gates – The Body Ecology Diet)  

The second example is from the classics. I know a little of Roman history and Marcus Aurielas, but not his words. My banker and my best friend are into Marcus Aurielas’ book Meditations and also Stoicism. Here are three of my favorite quotes from his book.

 “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”

“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.”

                                                         ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Conclusion

To conclude and come full circle, I’m still reading, learning from, and enjoying books. I left the retail bookstore world and entered the public library. Surrounded by books and the people who want to soak up what’s in them is a little like heaven on earth to me. I’d love to hear how books have influenced, inspired, and aided your life journey. Share some titles – I’m looking for more to read!!!

It seems odd that we need to learn how to relax. Shouldn’t it be a natural state when we are not in an active mode – like our ancestors’ primal fight or flight? 

Environment And Our Ability To Relax

When did anxiety and nervousness replace relaxation in my life? First, I would say that I am not an anxious person. Worried, yes, but not anxious. I looked up the definition of anxiety, and according to Webster’s Dictionary, it means:

Anxiety

  a: apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness usually over an impending or anticipated ill 

  b: mentally distressing concern or interest

  c: a strong desire sometimes mixed with doubt, fear, or uneasiness

Okay, I concede that worry is a synonym for anxiety. So maybe I am a bit anxious. It starts when we are young and grows unless we have someone teach us how to relax.  

The environment we are in plays a part. It’s difficult to turn off the outside influences that fuel anxiety, like the news, traffic, pressure to pay bills, school, peer pressure, and worldwide pandemics. But that doesn’t mean we cannot find the time and place to relax.  We feel a sense of duty to achieve, meet deadlines, look good at all costs, and appear confident, but that doesn’t mean we cannot feel at peace while doing these things.

Energy And Our Ability To Relax

We expend a great deal of energy on anxiety, stress, and uneasiness about things in the past or future that harm our health and state of mind. If we are going to exert the energy, why not spend it on ways to be healthier.

“The body both feels and is in better balance when the relaxation response is evoked because heart rate, metabolism, oxygen consumption, and respiration slow down. Blood pressure and muscle tension are lowered, and brain activity is characterized by alpha waves, which are slower in frequency than what is usual in a waking state.”  – Herbert Benson – Author of The Relaxation Response

Let’s follow Herbert Benson’s advice and expend our energy on relaxing, which will net positive results to our health. Dr. Bernie Siegel, the author of Peace, Love, and Healing, reminds us that relaxation techniques are taught in the healthcare field to help cope with serious illness. He says that “relaxation heals from within.”

Dr. Siegel suggests that we need to “put our bodies in action to relax.” What a concept! Here I thought that relaxation involved just the body. I was picturing a hammock, pool, or beach chair by the ocean.  

Ways To Relax

Here are six ways. See if any resonate with you! 

1. Breathe

Deep breathing is healthy for your body. It’s also good for calming your thoughts. Combine deep breathing with counting to 10, and you can prevent spiking your blood pressure and saying something you may regret later.

There are several methods of deep breathing based on yogic traditions that will quickly reduce your heart rate and settle your nerves. Emergency service workers, coaches, teachers, mom’s and dad’s all come to mind with the sage advice of “just breathe.”

I grew up with asthma, and breathing was difficult at times. When I couldn’t breathe right, it caused a panic response which then caused me to breathe even more shallowly. My dad, a lifelong swimmer, helped me in those moments by mirroring the long, slow breathing that ultimately brought me out of those panicky moments.  

2. Do

What absorbs your attention? For me, it is nature – gardening, taking pictures, and tree gazing. I have a friend who relaxes by drawing. Another who relaxes by running. Another who relaxes by volunteering with animals.

Whatever your hobby – baking, sewing, fixing up a car, reading, sports – even if you are exhausted afterward, you are relaxing! It is an activity that takes you out of your lane and puts you in an anti-anxiety zone for a little while.

If you can’t think of anything that does this for you, find something you always wanted to learn and start now! In this digital world – you can discover new activities almost anytime. 

3. Laugh

What’s more fun and relaxing than true, deep laughter? Some of the best moments are when we get uncontrollable giggles or enjoy deep belly laughs.

How long has it been since you experienced the physical sensations of laughing out loud? If it has been a while, think back on what made you laugh as a kid. Check out Laughter Yoga. Or if you prefer to laugh at home, find those things (TV shows, movies, books, jokes, people) and re-live or make new memories.

Norman Cousin‘s is an excellent resource for the benefits of laughter as a medicine. He wrote the book Anatomy of An Illness about how he came back from a severe degenerative disease due partly to attitude and laughter.  

 “Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.”  – Norman Cousins

4. Listen

Listening to funny stuff can make you laugh. Listening to music is also an excellent way to relax. Whatever your favorite music is, ambient, reggae, folk, classical or hard rock, just being absorbed in music can provide relaxation. Go under headphones, sing-along, or even better – get up and move your body to the music.  

5. Meditate

When I was 17, I was struggling with a tragedy in my family. My dad came to the rescue with two things; progressive muscle relaxation and meditation. Both were effective in helping me to relax my mind and solve tensions in my body.

The progressive relaxation was pretty much common sense, and once taught, I could repeat it as needed. The meditation was more of a challenge for me. We went to Transcendental Meditation classes together. It took some time to learn to silence my mind or not let my mind pull me into all kinds of tangents while trying to meditate.

At first, meditation was stressful because I was trying hard not to think – focus on my breathing and mantra. But with practice, like most things, it got easier. Meditation and progressive relaxation became my go-to tools for peace.  

6. Sleep

Do you relax when you sleep? Are you tossing and turning? Do you wake up frequently? Is it hard to fall asleep, stay asleep or wake up? Are you tired in the afternoons?

Sleep studies show that many of us do not get a restful night’s sleep. This time is our body’s chance to let all the organs rest. The more we can facilitate a peaceful sleep, the more relaxed we can be during waking hours. Sleep is a magic elixir for a healthy life. Think about your current sleep habits and how you may adjust them.  

• Cool temperatures promote sleep.
• Low or no light helps promote sleep (eliminate blue light)
• Don’t eat too close to going to sleep
• Avoid TV, especially the news before bedtime
• Leave your digital devices outside the bedroom or off
• Stretch and do some gratitude affirmations before going to bed
• Breath deeply and visualize a great nights sleep
• Slowly get out of bed in the morning and stretch 

Cultivate a Mindset To Relax

I learned that relaxing is not just chilling out on the couch with a good book (although there is nothing wrong with that). Why do we need to learn to relax?  Because relaxing is a state of mind that involves the body, mind, and soul. It is a heart-centered activity that raises your state of mind and lowers your stress level.

I hope that you have many ways to relax in your day-to-day activities! We would love to hear from you.

—We have come out of one of the strangest winters of our lives – having weathered the ups and downs of quarantine and COVID. Our lives are different. The stress of this time we are in plays havoc on mind, body, and soul. Amid the stress of loss (jobs, health, security, a loved one), the stress of uncertainty, and the stress of the tension we hear daily on the news, it’s essential to take a moment now and breathe!

In searching for pockets of peace and normalcy, I’ve discovered that the remedy is often right in front of us, under our feet, just outside our window, or up in the sky. The constant in all the havoc of this past year has been Nature. Contemplating how Nature can soothe our souls, I’ve realized a few things I’d like to share with you.

        “The beautiful spring came, and when Nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also.” —Harriet Ann Jacobs

Blue and Green – A Pallet of Peace and Balance To Nurture Your Soul

What’s your favorite color?  Mine is blue. Blue represents the sky and water to me (even though that is an illusion caused by the atmosphere). I love blue because it makes me think of the soothing effects of the ocean. Water represents many things, like the subconscious, tranquility, peace, flow, power, expansiveness, and life. 

Green is in my top three colors too. I gravitate to deep forest green. My first home as an adult was a tiny apartment in Massachusetts. I missed the trees around the home where I grew up, so we painted the living room a deep, rich green, and the furniture was brown. It was my forest. Looking back, I realize the colors were way too dark for a small room, but it was a way to bring the trees inside.

Green represents nurturing and balance. It’s new green shoots coming up in your garden. It’s the tendril of vinca or the two-tone leaf of clover. It’s a color that is refreshing, reviving, and rejuvenating! Green is often associated with healing and new life. You can see why by just looking outside in the Spring. Have you ever thought about how many shades of green are in Mother Nature’s pallet? Count the many variations of green on your next walk and get lost in the wonder of it. 

Blue and green are in the middle of the spectrum of light from the sun. They also follow each other in the upper realms of energy centers or chakras—Blue for Throat and Green for Heart. If light is energy, then the frequencies breaking into different colors on the light spectrum represent different energy levels. Our bodies resonate with different colors just as they do with sound frequencies.  

Recently we’ve learned that blue light (as in our digital displays, alarm clocks, coffee makers, etc.) is not the best to be around too much – especially just before or while sleeping. I believe it is because it is a stimulating frequency and not helpful for rest. So leave your digital devices out of the bedroom if possible. However, when we are wide awake and getting our Vitamin D in the sunshine, our eyes are drawn to the blue sky. Consider how you feel after a few days of rain when you wake up to a clear blue sky! I feel like I can breathe more fully and want to soak in the huge expanse of blue. 

A Powerful Partnership – Blue and Green of Nature

I recently attended a webinar for stress relief in the time of Covid. I could not get out of my mind the idea that what we surround ourselves with – even by color alone – can influence us both consciously and subconsciously. I’d heard of color therapy before and remember the days of choosing clothing colors for establishing an aura. Like wearing black for power, rose or pink for femininity, red to appear dynamic, etc. But I had not thought about how important color was in our natural environment.  

When I think of Nature, blue and green are the first colors to come to mind. Some studies show that spending time in Nature is a good way to reduce stress and inflammation and enhance overall well-being. Whether it is the actual colors, the frequencies, or the whole sensory experience, I’m in. Gone are the days of being worried about bugs, pollen, poison ivy, etc. My thinking has changed as I’ve gotten older, and the benefits of Nature trump all the other things that used to keep me from being outside. Or maybe it’s that Covid has taught me to appreciate the simple things of life and what Nature offers.

I’ve already spent weeks watching trees as they come alive with buds and leaves. Each day they change! I’ve walked the path in my neighborhood with intention – noting every new blossom and soaking in the combination of greens and blues.

Here are three easy activities that have made a difference for me. Let us know how they work for you or if you have tips you use to welcome Spring and reduce stress.

1. Tree-gazing

Do this outside or from your porch or a window. Choose a tree and do this exercise for five days. Close your eyes and practice deep breathing or the Box Breath for 1 minute. Then open your eyes and spend 5 minutes observing the tree – from the roots to the top! If you can do this while Spring is doing its thing, you will be astonished by the overnight changes.

2. Watch the morning come in

This sensory experience can start your day off well. Around sunrise, choose a place inside or outside on a clear morning to sit in open-eyed meditation. Observe the changes around you as the sun rises. What are the sounds, how does the temperature change, how long before dawn turns to daylight, how many hues of blue do you see? (You can do the same exercise for sunset.)

3. Nurture a plant

You don’t have to have a garden to take care of a plant. I don’t mean to water it. I mean, connect with it. If you have a yard or balcony, start something from seed. If you don’t know how to start – check google. Better yet, go to a garden center and ask for instructions. If you have no outside space, get a houseplant and nurture it. Observe the colors of your plant(s).  There is peace lily green, aloe green, cactus green, and so many more.

Spring offers new life, hope, and change. We are so fortunate to have the eyes to observe it all as it unfolds. I hope you can carve out some time to get in some of Nature’s blue/green medicine to nurture your soul. 

It may be true that we come into and leave this life alone, however, while we are here, we seek a sense of belonging.

According to the Oxford dictionary, belonging is “an affinity for a place or situation.” We tend to be most comfortable and ourselves when we feel like we belong. But what is it to belong? Is it just being at ease with others? Is it identifying emotionally with a group or a place? I believe belonging depends on multiple factors and experiences.

“A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, be loved, and to belong.” ~ Brené Brown

Where Do We Belong?

First, we are a part of our family – both nuclear and extended. This unit, in whatever form it takes, gives us an anchor. I identify heavily with my family and their foreign roots. This feeling of belonging to my ancestors has created in me a passion for genealogy. I plan to visit the village my family is from in Ireland. In my mind, I already feel like I will belong in the places where my relatives walked.

We can also look to family order for a sense of belonging and similar experiences. I recently surveyed some of my friends about their birth order. It was fun, and I found that I tend to gravitate to friends who, like me, are the oldest. If you are curious about birth order, check out The Birth Order Book by Kevin Leman.

As we move into adulthood and start our own family, we create a place of belonging for our children. That place is home! Making all members of a family feel safe and loved is vital. For me, visiting a grandparent’s or parent’s home as an adult evokes emotions of belonging. Where do you feel the strongest sense of “home”?  

Home can be more significant than a house. My quirky example of connection happens when I meet someone from New York City. I was born there, and even though I left when I was young, I feel a bond every time. It doesn’t make sense, but it is a visceral, uplifting experience. Maybe it’s in the water! We want to belong, and we look for affinity.

“Home is ultimately not about a place to live but about the people with whom you are most fully alive. Home is about love, relationship, community, and belonging, and we are all searching for home.” ~ Erwin McManus

 Who Do We Belong To?

We are members of the human race first. Then we may be defined in terms of ethnicity, heritage, religion, language, interests, etc. We are in a time of great divisiveness. In good times and hard times, it’s important to remember that we are all one in our humanness.

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” ~ Mother Teresa

Belonging to spiritual practice, religion, or a group of like-minded individuals can offer great comfort, solace, and fellowship. Whatever our beliefs are, we seek validation both internally and externally. Community is “common unity,” and it involves ever-expanding waves of connection. Groups that practice yoga, meditation, prayer, and healthy living are ones that attract me. That’s why I enjoy Hearts Rise Up as a community. It offers information and feedback in these areas.  

When Do We Belong?

We belong when we find a connection. We start to belong when we are born. We continue as we go to school, join a club, a sports team, or enlist in the military. We belong when we marry, become parents, and when we lose a loved one.

We belong when we bond in emotional experiences. I worked at a hospice in-patient center, where I witnessed and experienced many examples of belonging. Part of my job was to train new volunteers. It was amazing to see a group united over what drew them to volunteer and what experiences they had in common. Even more heartfelt was the bond between strangers who would meet in the in-patient center’s library or kitchen while visiting their loved ones. They experienced a shared feeling of impending loss, and it brought them together in a supportive way. It wasn’t about making each other feel better; it was about knowing they were not alone on the path of grief and loss.

“Humanity is our uniting religion, and breath is our uniting prayer.” ~ Yogiraj Siddhanath

In the Hearts Rise Up Community we offer a place of belonging. Whatever it was that brought you to our site, we welcome you and invite you to share what makes your heart rise up and gives you the sense of belonging to something bigger that will bring us all health, happiness, peace, and support.  

I can be happy, and my smile mechanism can be in neutral. But when I smile, which is frequently, it lights up my face and my eyes. Some people appear to be smiling, whether they are happy or not, but a genuine smile is hard to fake.

When you smile

There are commercials about “paying it forward” with a smile. It’s contagious, like laughter can be. There are many songs about the power of a smile. My favorite smile song from childhood is “When you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you.”    

World Smile Day is the first Friday in October. 10/2/2020 this year. In a time of a pandemic, smiles are harder to come by. For about nine months, we haven’t seen as many smiles, thanks to stress and masks. Masks are necessary, but they are also removing one of our visual cues to relating to one another.  

What can we do about it? Well, this is the time to practice smiling with your eyes. Smile behind your mask and put your heart into smiling with your eyes. That means focusing your gaze on another person, crinkling your eyes, widening your eyes, or closing and opening your eyes in silent communication.  

With masks on, we also need to be more proactive with our greetings. Speak clearly and turn up the volume. Use hand gestures, like waving, to indicate you are aware of someone when wearing a mask.  

But please, don’t stop smiling 

A friend recently said her coworkers referred to her as “an angel” because she was always smiling. But since Covid-19, she has had people ask her what’s wrong. She was confused about why they would say this. Upon reflection, she realized that she was stressed about Covid-19 and was wearing her mask anytime she was not home. Her inner and outer smile was disappearing. After realizing this, she began to purposefully smile behind her mask and make eye contact (in fact, she enhanced her eyes with makeup when having meetings). She returned to her “angel” persona.  

There are physiological benefits to a smile and volumes of research if you are interested in learning more. What matters to me is that the act of a genuine smile releases endorphins, making us feel better. So even if your mask covers your smile, the smile is still doing its magic and making you feel better. Your light will shine brighter through your eyes and energy field.

Raise your vibration with your smile, and you will raise others as well!

Have you ever heard of putting a rubber band on your wrist to remind you of something you need to do or help you focus? I used to wear one while in college. During most of my classes, I forgot it was there. But when it came to statistics and anything with formulas (math was not my forte), I would snap that rubber band against my wrist as a deterrent to the negative mind chatter that threatened to make me want to give up or hurry through. It helped me to focus on the problem.

Math was a struggle for me. But thanks to my desire to graduate and maintain a great GPA, and to that motivational rubber band “bracelet,” – I passed every class involving math and formulas, and in the last few got A’s. It felt good to get those grades, but it felt fantastic to overcome a hurdle and reframe my perspective on my relationship with math! Persistence was the grease to my wheels, and the rubber band bracelet was the spark plug that fired up my brain.

Bumps in the Road

I am learning a new computer program now and have hit some bumps in the road that make me question why I am straining my brain. There are many reasons why I want to persevere and a few that make me want to quit. In my mind, I hear these echoing phrases from my childhood:

– Practice makes perfect

– As you sow, so you shall reap

– Nothing worthwhile comes easy

It is hitting those bumps, failing, and starting again to reach a level of competence that gives me the most satisfaction in the long run. Why is that? What is it in our nature that makes accomplishing something against the odds so much more rewarding?  

Path to Resilience

Surviving tough times – whether physically, psychologically, or mentally – helps make us resilient. Here are the ingredients I believe make us resilient:

– Persistence – to keep trying, endure, not give up

– Intention – Thinking through your purpose & goals, narrowing your focus

– Integrity – Being honest with yourself about your abilities

– Courage – Putting yourself forward to step up, lean in, learn, be judged

– Gratitude – Being humble, acknowledging accomplishments, being kind to yourself, appreciating your “teachers” and “life lessons.”

Persistence and Powering Through

Basic training in the military and boot camp at the gym are places where we can learn the value of persistence in developing resilience. We often go through pain to reach a new state of being. Joining a class – whether academic, creative, or social – requires courage. Building resilience requires being open to the outcome of an experience, whether you are successful the first time or not.   

Winston Churchill said, “Never give in–never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.” I am a fan of this quote. I look at the last part and acknowledge that there are times when we have given it our best, stayed on track as long as possible, and come to the realization that the thing you are doing will not be productive or successful. That is not giving up; that is making a conscious decision to take what you learned into consideration and apply it to something better suited to you. Life is short, and there is a point of diminishing returns when it comes to persistence.  

Resilience, however, is something of high value. We may not have enjoyed the journey of building it, but resilience serves us well in good times and bad. Losing a job, losing a loved one, or surviving a serious illness are all examples of experiences that build resilience. And having resilience is the core characteristic that helps us make it through life’s toughest challenges. Many less intense situations also build resilience; having to take a course over, ending a toxic relationship, recovering from a twisted ankle to start running again. Each time we face something that is a challenge, it builds our resilience. Each incident is another rubber band to add to our resilience ball. The rubber band ball is a perfect example of the ability to bounce back. The combined bands of experience, working together over time, provide us with strength and flexibility.  

The rubber band ball represents the Superpower of Resilience! May yours be colorful!